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Humor: Today's Sounds

The Comedy Bite of the Day -- Movies, TV, radio, cartoons, and sound effects clips for your computer noises and entertainment. Hear fresh .WAV, .MP3, .AU, and RealAudio sound files Monday through Friday. Soundboards, too.

Visit these other updating Humor: Today pages ... This Day in Humor | Humor Entertainment News | News Satire | Jokes | The Funny Site of the Day | TV | Late-Nite TV | Movies | Home Video / DVD | Comic Strips
James Stewart: Bell, Book, and Candle
"I may sound like a lunatic, but I'm not crazy!" -- Part of another big page of miscellaneous sound bites at The Daily .WAV.
Groucho Marx: Horsefeathers
"Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech. And that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself." -- A page of miscellaneous items, many for the Christmas season, at The Daily .WAV.
Bender From Futurama Sound Board
The animated series' robot speaks on your commands via a big soundboard of audio clips at Free Online Games.
George W. Bush Soundboard
Have a conversation with the President of the United States of America, courtesy of this soundboard at Free Online Games.
Redneck Horn - Redneck Naghorn
Real gift items for him and her to be placed on car and truck dashboards. The giant buttons are activated at times of road rage. Each horn spouts multiple redneckisms, which you can hear on the promotional site. Strong language.
Evil Christmas Carols
These sounds arrive via a Flash video from Panda Smash. Sean Wesche plays favorite holiday tunes on a piano as if "they were the scores of horror movies."
''Chipmunk Chanukah"
An audio-only track at YouTube features Melvin and the Chipmunks doing their special holiday lyrics on David Seville's "The Chipmunk Song."
Julie Newmar as Catwoman: Batman
"Now if you all assume positions of subservience, we can complete this caper with a minimum of jeopardy and danger for all. On your knees, knaves!" -- A page of miscellaneous sound bites from The Daily .WAV.
Bewitched Theme Songs
Several versions of the sitcom's theme song and a few related sound bites can be heard at 1164 Morning Glory Circle, a solid Bewitched fan site.
'Nutcracker Suite' Played Exclusively on Bicycle Parts
An interesting musical interlude presented by Create Digital Music.
Air Raid Sirens
Outdoor warning sirens, always a big laugh. Find numerous audio clips of these devices, both foreign and domestic -- and noisy.
James Bond Multimedia - .MP3 Sounds
Extensive group of audio bites from the 007 series. "Witty one-liners, catch phrases, innuendoes, and various dialogues that have to be listened to!" promises this excellent fan destination.
Vincent Price: Dr. Goldfoot and the Gold Bombs
"You know, Igor, I'm beginning to regret that I brought you back to life." -- A page of miscellaneous soundbites at The Daily .WAV.
Forbidden Crypts Of Haunted Music!
Here's a gigantic resource of haunted house and Halloween recordings, featuring celebrities like The Munsters, Alfred E. Neuman, and The Addams Family, among many others. Not all of the promised albums are online, yet, but a big amount are functional for your amusement. (10/26/06)
Alvin and the Chipmunks at Native Speed
We all know Alvin and the Chipmunks' recording, "The Christmas Song," largely created by speeding up the vocals to sound like rodents. By slowing the master recording, we can hear the performers' actual voices. Both versions are available at Centripetal Notion. (10/25/06)
The Bob and Tom Show: Telemarketer's Nightmare
Funny practical joke played on a telemarketer, found at Vox. Strong language. (10/24/06)
Curlys Spooky Halloween .WAV Sounds.
An assortment of scary sound effects for your Halloween needs. (10/23/06)
Chris Farley Soundboard
Another fine conversation piece from crocoPuffs. (10/20/06)
Jim Carrey Soundboard
Have a conversation with the comedian via crocoPuffs. (10/19/06)
Frank Sinatra Parody: Strangers on My Flight
Heard on Howard Stern's radio show, a popular spoof of Sinatra's "Strangers in the Night," found at Beecy.net. Adult lyrics. (10/18/06)
More Sounds at The Classic Hollywood Squares Site
Another funny page of zingers with Paul Lynde and other celebrities on the game show, plus miscellaneous related soundbites. (10/17/06)
The Classic Hollywood Squares Page
Always worth a visit, this sounds page dedicated to the TV quiz show features audio clips of the sound effects and musical elements of the program, plus top funny bits by the stars, such as Paul Lynde, Charley Weaver, George Gobel, Joan Rivers, and Don Knotts. (10/16/06)
Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard
"Stop whining!" -- A big panel of audio quotes with the Governor, from crocoPuffs. Strong language. (10/13/06)
David Spade Soundboard
"Trust me on this one," from crocoPuffs. (10/12/06)
The Simpsons: The Mr. Burns Soundboard
Have a conversation with the richest, grumpiest guy in Springfield via I Am Bored. (10/11/06)
From Thirty Second Bunnies Theatre, Happy Bun-O-Ween!
Via The Funny Site of the Day, a sinister soundboard filled with audio clips from the animated Webtoon bunnies, plus watch their scary movie re-enactments. (10/10/06)
South Park's Towelie Soundboard
Towelie, a k a Toweleeeie, a recurring character on the TV series, has his own board at Daily HaHa. (Adult content.) (10/09/06)
Michael Richards: Kramer Soundboard
"C'mon, man, help a brother out," says Cosmo Kramer -- one of the sounds from Seinfeld on this board at Daily HaHa. (10/06/06)
Super Mario Bros. AudioSound Super-Synthesizer
This soundboard features the isolated sounds of the Super Mario Bros. video games, hosted at Daily HaHa. (10/05/06)
The Ultimate Peter Griffin Soundboard
Have a big conversation with the Family Guy at Daily HaHa. (10/04/06)
Another Christopher Walken Soundboard
Have a conversation with Christopher Walken via Daily HaHa. (Adult content.) (10/03/06)
Daggett Doofus Beaver: The Angry Beavers
"Oh no! What have I done accidentally on purpose?" - Here's another page of miscellaneous sound bites from The Daily .WAV. (10/02/06)
Robert DeNiro Soundboard
Mostly lighthearted DeNiro audio bites, but several do contain strong language, on this panel from BoFunk.
Jerry Seinfeld Soundboard
Have a conversation with Jerry via clips from Seinfeld and this panel at BoFunk. Categories include Greeting/Names, Questions, Threats, Answers, and Statements.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Get on with it!" -- A few sound bites from the movie can be found on The Holy Grail page, which has other items of interest related to the picture, including the script. Scroll down that page for the audio clips.
Adult Swim Cartoon .MP3s
Audio samples from a variety of the cartoon series appearing in the late-night TV comedy block can be downloaded at the official Adult Swim location.
"Racist Survivor"
An alternative theme song for the controversial reality series Survivor: Cook Islands. SuperMasterpiece.com offers an .MP3 audio file for download or you can watch the synchronized video version.
Those Darn Accordions
Heavy metal accordions blaze on sample .WAV files of "Whole Lotta Love / Black Dog," "Frankenstein," "We're an Accordion Band," and others.
Jeff Bridges: The Big Lebowski Soundboard
A batch of audio files from the cult film are available for a download to your computer from Unrealistic Expectations. Some explicit language.
Mae West: Way Out West
Oh. My. God. Check out Miss West's "You Turn Me On" from her rock and roll (!) album at Frank's Vinyl Museum.
Steve Carell: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
"People seem to like me because I am polite and I'm rarely late. I like to eat ice cream, and I really enjoy a pair of slacks." -- One of many good miscellaneous bites on a page from The Daily .WAV.
Jack Klugman, Tony Randall: The Odd Couple Sings
Here's one for all you now a-go-go lads and lassies. The boys sing "When Banana Skins Are Falling" and a couple of other tunes at Frank's Vinyl Museum. Why, I dunno.
Pat Cooper
The veteran comedian, a regular guest with Howard Stern, is caught talking to his kid in a sound bite found at Frank's Vinyl Museum.
Laverne & Shirley Sing: "Sixteen Reasons"
Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams croon 16 reasons why we should have never purchased our computers. Frank's Vinyl Museum remembers.
Margot Kidder: Superman II
"Once a girl's seen Superman in action, Niagra Falls kind of leaves you cold. You know what I mean?" -- Several more Superman sound bites are available on this page of miscellaneous items from The Daily .WAV.
The Simpsons: Comic Book Guy Soundboard
Unrealistic Expectations has a soundboard ready for download featuring Bart Simpson on several of the sound bites.
Polka Disco
The ancient tune "Roll Out the Barrel" updated to the swirly world of disco! Jimmy Sturr performs at Frank's Vinyl Museum.
Today's Late-Night TV Comedy Show Audio
It's another daily page with leads to sounds.

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