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The Best 4/20 Weed Jokes


April 20th... 4/20... It's the yearly celebration of the mostly-illegal substance marijuana. In celebration, I've compiled a list of some of the funniest weed-related jokes (culled from various websites), so that when you're deep into your celebration, you'll have something to awkwardly laugh at. You stoner.

How do you know when you are Stoned?

photo courtesy of www.marijuanaseedbanks.com

When you are too phoned to stone home.

Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?

Because pot holder was taken.

How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?


What do you get when you eat marijuana?

A pot belly.

What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs?

Double jointed.

How do you know when you have smoked enough pot?

When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.

How do you know your a pothead?

You studied five days for a urine test?

What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?

Mr. President.

How do fish party?


Why did the pot head plant cheerios?

He thought they were donut seeds.

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