Changes of Life: Ask Humor Boy
Wednesday, December 11 :: 7:15 p.m. :: permalink

Questions for Mr. Boy by Saturday-8

1. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have chosen and why?

Fido. When I ride in the car, it would give my tongue something to aspire to.

2. If you could relive a year in your life, what age would that have been and why?

That would be conception to birth, when I was a fetus. I could use some remedial gurgling.

I enjoyed the comfort and solitude of the womb, but somehow I don't think my mom would allow a reprise. She'd put her lap down at the HBO hook-up.

3. If you could go back and change a point in your life, where would it have been?

That toothpick would have been in a different chair.

Why?

I'm not an hors d'oeuvre.

4. If you could have kissed a crush in your past, who would it have been and why didn't you ever kiss her?

There were many I would've kissed, but I'm the shy boy and the girls I liked were slow to take the initiative. Heck, I've been married nearly 22 years and my wife only recently gave me her phone number.

5. If you could say goodbye to a loved one that died before their time, who would it be and what would you have said?

Well, gee, that is kind of personal, although I would've said a little something we all learned in school. "Can I have your fish sticks?"

6. If you had to pick a place to live, would it be near the sea or near the mountains? Why?

I did pick a place. I live near the mountains on a creek (which sounds like the sea at night). I love the simpler life, roughing it, cloaked in the pristine beauty of the countryside with DSL.

7. If you had to lose one sense [smell, taste, sound, feel, and sight], which would you give up or live without?

Smell.

Why?

Two words: cat box.

8. If you could wish a wish and it be guaranteed to come true, what would it be?

Carrot Top gets his old eyebrows back.


Answers copyright ©2002 Mike Durrett. All rights reserved. Questions posed courtesy of Saturday-8.