As I promised you in Episode One of our big western travel extravaganza, this installment is when we get into the car and motion ahead to points unknown and to others that have been in the planning stages for many years. Well, we don't physically get into the car today -- that's an expression. Us beloved folklore heroes, the Durretts, made this trip last month. I'm just now telling you about it because there were post production necessities and scheduling considerations to worry about, and religious blessings to invoke and projectile pea soup and spinning heads to clean-up, and taking the wife's gallbladder out and helping her recover by sticking within hearing, and taking the cat to the vet and helping her recover with herring-on-a-stick, and stuff like that. But learning how to use the dumb scanner, now that's what really slowed me down.
I showed the leg-regenerating trick to my identical clones, Connie and Lester. "Aren't three of you enough?" they asked in unison. "Connie, Oh, Connie. I didn't realize I was so... so freckled," I said, momentarily distracted by her haunting beauty, but delightfully informed. "I wasn't cloning. I was color-adjusting a memory." "Well, remember to sample this," she said, waving her arm with the attached familiar fist. Then she swung it hard into one of our squarely-chiseled jaws -- mine. "Mike! Mike, wake up! You must! You must!" Lester urged, as he shook me back into consciousness. "Aw, gee, thanks Lester," I sobbed. "You care about me. You really do." "Hell, no. Who's Nancy Sinatra?" "The singer," I said. "'These Boots Are Made for Walking.' Big hit in the sixties, remember?" "Mike, I'm a year old," Lester said. "The first song I recall ... is you singing, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty." "--This morning." he added. "Yeah," said Connie. "During your Stray Nose Hair, Ear Hair, Tongue Hair Pluck and Dimple Buff." "I like to look my best," I said. "Yeah, but we can do you to ourselves, thank you very much," sniped Lester. They left the room, still agitated by my leggy pictorial retouches. Just for meaness, they signed me up for incest counseling. No big deal. I'll just send one of them.  New to the world clones,
Lester Michael Durrett and Connie Michelle Durrett, learn taxi-hailing from their
Guide, Mike, during a 1998 shopping spree into the big city.File photos CLICK TO CONTINUE this article (Episode 2) Read more of this series now: Travel Photos used by permission and copyright 1998 by Donna Durrett Mike and Lester file photos copyright 1998 by Donna Durrett Connie file photo copyright 1998 by Mike Durrett All rights reserved. |
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I thought I did
pretty well last episode. Remember this picture? That's me standing on Arizona Highway 163
to Monument Valley. We'll be heading there when we get into the car. The original
photograph is extremely overexposed, but I managed to tweak it up to the resplendent
visual feast you see before you. 
Those are my arms. Yeah, I know it's kooky. My scanner has sorcerous photo
fixin' tools and it sampled my arm matter. With that input, I was able to redraw my legs
onto the picture. In the original snapshot, my legs are as white as my shoes and socks
appear. I've had emails asking if I'm Nancy Sinatra?
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