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Because the Net Can't Have Too Many Pages Nobody Reads

The Private Diary of Mike Durrett

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Wail Mail
Friday, May 24 :: 9:29 p.m. :: link

:: Letter to Dave Spohn, my Guide to one of hundreds of sites

Well, um, being that I've been in the midst of a crippling writer's block/spring fever dry spell for several weeks, I thought I'd surf over to your Worst of the Web site to steal some jokes. Immediately, in your article, "Secrets of Writing Good: How to Fill Blank Pages With Words," I saw:

"3. Surf over to Mike's Humor site to steal some jokes."

Great. We're both screwed. I'd berate you for not helping me, but I've pretty much lost the will to live. (Yeah, I know. That's Letterman's line. But it works for me. Besides, I've pretty much lost the will to live.)

Thanks.

Mike

Mike Durrett 
About Guide to Humor
http://humor.about.com
humor.guide@about.com

P.S. Hmm. Maybe Dan has something worth "creating" ...


Sham Poop
Monday, May 20 :: 10:09 p.m. :: link

friday five

Questions for Mr. Boy

1. What shampoo do you use? Mr. Boy is available for commercial endorsements. Rinse. Repeat. Mr. Boy is available for commercial endorsements.

2. Do you use conditioner? What kind? Yes. Mr. Boy is standing by to answer your endorsement calls. Mr. Boy requires his standard fee, expenses per diem, jiggly assistants, color-coordinated shampoo sink and smock, and only brown M&Ms.

3. When was the last time you got your hair cut? Four weeks. The weed-whacker is in the shop.

4. What styling products do you use? Gel, spray, staple gun.

5. What's your worst hair-related experience? The distinct lack of hair products spokesmodel gigs. Mr. Boy would also be suited for breakfast cereal endorsements. Not only is he a connoisseur of tasty, sunbaked morning, sugary goodness, but he's actually named Mikey. Mikey likes it (when there's a check attached)!


Which Osbourne Are You?
Monday, May 20 :: 3:49 p.m. :: link

:: I took Ape Culture's test. Here's the result:

"You're Jack Osbourne! You have problems with authorities and unruly hair. Try to focus more on your studies and less on partying and video games. You may worry that you're a nerd, but, dammit, people like you."

Kiss me bum. I am not a Clampbrit.

:: Current mood: F*^#!@& depressed, Sharon
::
Current music: "The Beverly Hillbillies"


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Unless noted, all content written and copyright ©2002 by Mike Durrett. All rights reserved.

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