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Lifestyles
of the Mike and Famous
Saturday, May 4 :: 5:54 p.m. :: link
|
Questions
for Mr. Boy |
1. If you could eat dinner with and
"get to know" one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose?
Jerry Lewis, but I would not let him near the grown-ups' table.
2. Has the death of a famous person
ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel? When John Wayne died, I
felt like I had lost a member of my family. We found Uncle Fuzzy under the casket.
3. If you could BE a famous person
for 24 hours, who would you choose?
Frank Sinatra in 1960. I'd love to sing those great tunes in front of the Count Basie
Orchestra. Then, I'd play Frisbee with his hairpiece, swim in chicks, and punch out some
press guys.
 |
| ©1998 Mike Durrett.
All rights reserved. |
4. Do people ever tell you that you
look like someone famous? Who? People used to tell me I looked like Michael Landon. I
was flattered, until I realized they meant his urn.
Since I've started to gray, I'm Bea
Arthur.
5. Have you ever met anyone famous?
Face-to-face: Dolly Parton, Cher, Melissa Manchester, Pat Paulsen, Doc Severinsen, Paul
Williams, Tim Conway, Don Knotts, Wolfman Jack, among others.
If I ever become famous, I've met me. I
was seven.
Hollywoody
Beginnings
Friday, May 3 :: 10:47 a.m. :: link
:: Following my close encounter
with Woody Allen, I wrote an appreciation and posted it here.
The
Plan
Thursday, May 2 :: 9:55 a.m. :: link
©2002 Mike Durrett. All
rights reserved.
Sad
Cat
Wednesday, May 1 :: 2:39 p.m. :: link
:: The good news is we've made
reservations to return to the Grand Canyon.
The bad news, we forfeit our tickets to
"Seussical."
I'm crushed in the hat.
:: Current mood: Horton Hears a Hooray!
:: Current music: "Happy
Days Are Here Again"
Rave
Wednesday, May 1 :: 10:07 a.m. :: link
:: Email from my pal, Frank:
"OK, meeting Woody Allen, Chuck
McCann and Tim Conway, that's all well and good. But a new Bi-Lo? *Now* I'm
impressed."
My
Swirly-Twirly Life
Tuesday, April 30 :: 2:04 p.m. :: link
:: Since I rarely get to brag,
please indulge me and feel free to be envious because every syllable which follows is absolutely
true. (My wife is a notary public. Don't make me bring her in here.)
1. In our village, we have a new supermarket. We've even qualified for their trendy Bonus
Card. Friendly faces greet us with super savings. Kellogg's Oat Bran, one dollar off with
in-store coupon.
2. By mutual consent, the Wal-Mart, a local landmark of high esteem, is now handling all
of our pharmacy notions.
3. This evening, we're down the road for a pre-release showing of "Hollywood
Ending." After the film, a talk by Mr. Woody Allen in person. Ever hear of him?
Of course, this won't be on the same level as my running into Chuck McCann and Tim Conway
in an office hallway last summer, as they ate a free buffet in their tuxedos. Tim dazzled
with his mastery of the plastic fork. Chuck, if memory serves, had eaten sandwiches in the
past.
:: Current mood: bananas
:: Current music:
"Manhattan" soundtrack
Movies
I Won't Watch on Television
Tuesday, April 30 :: 12:03 p.m. :: link
:: These are films I refuse to
view when "formatted to fit your TV," with up to half of their visual content
removed.
- "Around the World in 40 Days"
- "The Five Commandments"
- "The Dirty Six"
- "Catch-11"
- "Ocean's 5.5"
- Fellini's "4¼"
- "June, 1000: A Space Odyssey"
- "Fifty and One-Half
Dalmatians"
- "Seven Brides for No Brothers"
- "The One Little Pig and Bacon"
Chopped
Phooey
Monday, April 29 :: 10:49 a.m. :: link
:: I hate it when movies are
"formatted to fit your TV." That means as much as 50% of the intended image is
missing.
I have no interest in James Bond 003.5.
:: Current mood: cheated
:: Current music: "You're
My Everything"
Diamonds Are a Stick's Best Friend
Sunday, April 28 :: 6:49 p.m. :: link
:: On a local radio station,
there's a commercial for a store claiming it has "more diamonds than you can shake a
stick at."
Question: Why would I want to do that?
It would never occur to me to shake a
stick at diamonds. If I were forced to make a choice, I'd probably shake a sponge cake.
Maybe quivering bee larvae.
:: Current mood: stuck
:: Current music: Jewel
To
Tell the Tooth
Sunday, April 28 :: 12:59 p.m. :: link
:: "I dread Monday,"
my wife said.
"Why's that?" I asked, removing the cap from the mouthwash.
"Dental appointment, my dentist always stares at my chest."
"Take the wind-up teeth out of
your cleavage."
:: Current mood: transcendental
:: Current music: gargling
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Unless noted, all content
written and copyright ©2002 by Mike Durrett. All rights reserved. I want a book deal,
dammit.
Comedy is
in the mind of the beholder. Proceed at your own risk.
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