Bachelor in Paradise
Thursday, September 26 :: 9:02 a.m. :: link

:: I televisioned into ABC last night for the special announcement, checking to see if I am the new "The Bachelor."

I'm not.

Oh, well, I suppose that'll be welcomed news on my wife's side of the sheets.

Knowing her, she'd probably have something to say if I started dating.

It's been made abundantly clear to me there's one thing she will not tolerate: tsunamis in the waterbed.

Especially from tourists. She does love her sleep.

Our waterbed, frankly, has been a disappointment. Only when I'm home alone do I get to pull out my surfboard.

I like to grab a big wave and hang ten right into the wall. That always leads to good napping.

I think I scared the lass on our honeymoon when I wiggled my flippers and snap-on dorsal fin at her and dived in.

(That's also when she spawned my nickname, "Belly-Flop.")

Let's just say she's not a fan of bed swells. To calm me down, she had my snorkel neutered.

And it was a fancy one with a ball valve.


Copyright ©2002 Mike Durrett. All rights reserved.