Sprucing Up the Panic Room
Saturday, April 20 :: 11:58 p.m. :: link

Me in my panic room, waiting.

:: Having been menaced by danger, I must be better prepared.

Top 10 Improvements for My Panic Room

10) Consider relocating panic room to inside home. Or, install pet door for foot space and lounging comfort.

9) Turbo dehumidifier

8) Personal hygiene squeegee

7) 168-hour deoderant pads

6) Turbo Air-Wicks

5) Binaca Blasts (with silencers)

4) Ouchless bandages

3) Batteries for Kenner Give-A-Show Projector

2) Get wider mail slot for pizza deliveries. And side order of Crazy Bread.

1) Meg Ryan


Photo © 2002 Donna Durrett. All rights reserved. Used with permission.
Copyright ©2002 Mike Durrett. All rights reserved. I want a book deal, dammit.