Fertnel Snak Food Corporation

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'Next Time You Think, Think Fertnel!'

Here's what I originally wrote about the tastefully attractive Fertnel Snak Food Corporation's Web site:

Take a virtual tour of Fertnel, the "Snak Leader of the Free World," and learn all about good eating. Yes, the makers of Gravy on a Stick would love to show you around their product catalogue, gnarly teen magazine ("CheezeBeats") and the executive suite.

Along the way, you might grab some samples of their fine "digestible treats," including Fertnel's Skink Blue Cheeze-a-Pet ("sprinkle on the spores"), Fertnel Food Tape (great for "torn sandwiches") and Liquid Meat ("It cooks up just like real meat with savory flavors, fat, cholesterol and even gristle!")

It's perfect fun! Share your field trip with a Pepto Bismol Wine Cooler!

Well, things have changed at Fertnel, probably due to the lawsuits and retractions, but flavorful fun continues with yummy new Chef-Enzyme, Glo-Cheez, and Meat Nickels fine snacks products!

Feast your gullet on this one ...

Fertnel Snak Food Corporation

~ Mike Durrett