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The Funny Site of the Day February 16, 2001

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The Love Bloats
by Mike Durrett

The Single-Speak Decoder
When it comes to dating and -- um -- you know, men and women don't necessarily tell the truth -- at least, the real truth. Says Teresa Mannix at "Virtually Yours," home of this mating jargon translator, "The 'profiles' by which such people promote their availability can often be likened more to real estate advertisements than product descriptions and, like real estate advertisements, you can believe every word at your own peril."

For example, when a man says he's "easygoing," what he really means is "I'm a slob and I leave the toilet seat up."

When a woman says she's "confident," what she really means is "I could buy you and sell you (and probably will)."

You'll find dozens of examples with enlightening definitions for each sex to compare and contrast.

I found it good for grins.

What I really mean is "it's dirty."

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