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Ruminations - Thoughts for the Day in the Style of Jack Handey

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Ruminations: Savvy users of the Internet have long subscribed to the original daily thoughts newsletter, "Ruminations," presented by The Top Five List gang. While the free and pay versions of those emails still exist for the taking, a fresh comical meditation is posted online every 24 hours, in addition to an extensive archive of previous mental predicaments. These jokes are formulated with similarities to the old "Saturday Night Live" bits known as "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" and are intended for adults.
What We've Got Here: A few excerpts...
  • Can't a guy sit in silence and enjoy his lunch without someone shoving a basket in his face asking for money? Man, I hate this church. --Brad Simanek
  • I don't think the Pioneer probe and the Spirit rover would get along well, because Spirit is from Mars and Pioneer is from Venus. --David Spiro
  • Last night, my wife and I made love at the drive-in theater, and it was exactly like the way it was years ago before we were married -- except for the part where our kids were complaining about not being able to see the movie. --Miles Walker
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